Glorious Gumballs!

Over the summer, when we realized my husband would be working out-of-state for a period of time, we decided it was time to have our 8 year old start learning how to mow the lawn.  We decided on the small allowance of $2.00 each time he mowed the lawn and passed it off to our liking, which entailed not having too many grass "mow-hawks" sticking up all over the place.  Money proved to be very motivational for him over the summer, but now we have been struggling to find something that all of our little kids want bad enough that they are willing to help do jobs without being told too many times by mom.  So far, in the last couple weeks, I have found the most motivational method of reward for my kids to be the chance of earning a large gumball.  This has proved to be more effective at getting immediate results than anything else lately.  So, I thought it might be fun for any other moms to post pictures or descriptions of their most effective reward systems for their children, whether it be for doing jobs around the house, yard work, bed wetting, etc, so we can compare and possibly acquire new creative methods.

It Doesn't Take a Mind-Reader!

So after months and months of being sick and pregnant and having 6 kids in my home daily, four under the age of 3, I broke down crying one day and told my husband that I think I just needed to get out of the house each week and hoped he could help facilitate it.   With his job keeping him crazy busy, and of course, his necessary gym work-outs that were "not fun" (he assured me), I was unsure of what time was actually leftover over and available for me during the week.  In all honesty, the answer to this question seemed to be like the gloomy words of a flashing neon sign at an old motel-- "no vacancy."  After what I felt like was a hopeless conversation, he looked me in the eye and told me to schedule my personal time on the calendar if it was necessary because he "wasn't a mind-reader."   Did I really need him to read my mind?  Did I not spell it out in perfect words that i needed a break?  Why did it even need to be spelled out...could he not see the chaos created by 6 small children?  Did I crave the impossible?  I just wanted him to say, "take the night for you" without me having to schedule it so that my night out was totally guilt-free and enjoyable.  Why is that too much to ask?  Does not every man know that guilt-free golf is way better than the golf that requires an explanation for the fresh tan lines acquired on a supposed work day?  Men, F.Y.I., girls night outs are like guilt-free golf...necessary for sanity.  It doesn't take a mind-reader to figure this out!

Casting the line

I am sure that just about every woman has had the experience of nurturing a friendship with a high maintenance person.  If you find yourself perplexed over whether or not you have, you may want to consider the possibility that YOU may be the high maintenance half. 

Let's conduct a short questionnaire to aid you in deciding whether or not you are a high maintenance friend.

1.  Do you expect your girl friends to go out with you for a girls night regularly?

2.  Do you get angry if your girlfriends do not text you every day?

3.  Do you feel offended if your girlfriend doesn't respond to your daily texts immediately?

4.  Do you ask your friend to watch your kids, run errands with you or mend your clothes?

5.  Do you rope your friends into projects that you want done, but you don't really want to be the one to complete them?

6.  Do you call your friend up at 11pm and ask them to come to your home to see if you hung your picture too high or to tell you if your outfit looks better with a necklace or a bracelet?

*if you answered yes to three or more of these questions....... You are a high maintenance friend.

Granted, every woman loves to have close girlfriends.  Those of us that are low maintenance can often identify (right away) what we are getting ourselves into.  

Some of my most lovable friends ask a lot of me.  Most of the time I am too much of a chicken to say "NO", or "That won't work for me"

Is it safe to say that the chicken and the high maintenance women are drawn to each other?

Is that because some women just need a girlfriend they can boss around, or because the chicken needs to be needed?

Well..... This week I thought of this saying.

Give a man a fish,

Feed him for a day.

Teach a man to fish,

Feed him for a lifetime.

This saying came to my mind last night as I looked at a pile of 15 pairs of pants that my girlfriend asked me to hem for her.  She gave them to me at 3pm and wanted them done by 8am.

Naturally, there was some sort of disconnect when my brain tried to send the word "NO" to my lips.

After she left, I felt angry.

I was feeling overwhelmed with my motherly responsibilities, the upcoming holiday and the fact that we are relocating half way across the country in less than a month.

(It was at that point that this beautiful fishing analogy came to my mind)

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the fishing lesson.

I marched those pants back to my friend's home and told her that next week we will be casting our lines into Sewing 101.

Like it or not, I will not do all her dirty work for her.  However, I WILL devote an entire day to teaching her a skill that she will need for the rest of her life.

Amidst all the frustrations of nurturing this kind of friendship, I think we are both learning a great deal from each other!

I havent' heard a woman say that she loves to string a new fishing line; or untangle the hook from a near by tree.  I don't know a woman that loves to sit for hours on a boat with no sign of the bobber bobbin; or gut a fish after the idea of catch and release failed.

But.....  If you find yourself on the boat with a person that you can giggle with and cry with, for those few short hours.........it is worth the work!